All Products

Schrödinger's Cereal Box

WARNING: Contents both exist and don't exist until observed. May cause existential breakfast crisis.

£6.99

Time-Frozen Milk

Expired yesterday, fresh tomorrow, confusing today.

£3.49

Perpetual Bread

It's bread forever. FOREVER. Get it away from me.

£2.99

Gravity-Defying Butter

Finally, butter that spreads UP. Physics teachers hate this one trick.

£4.99

Invisible Jam

Tastes like strawberry betrayal.

£5.49

Boneless Bananas

We removed the bones. Yes, banana bones. Don't ask questions you're not ready to hear the answers to.

£3.99

Square Eggs (6-pack)

Chickens hate this one trick.

£4.49

Dehydrated Water Powder

Just add... wait.

£7.99

Waterproof Water

H2O but make it hydrophobic.

£49.99

Silent Alarm Clock

Wakes you up BEFORE it goes off. Causality is just a suggestion.

£39.99

Transparent Mirror

See yourself not seeing yourself.

£79.99

Square Circle Display (27")

27" of geometric impossibility - 4K resolution, infinite existential dread.

£299.99

Wireless Cable (USB-C, 2m)

It's a cable with no wires. Look, we were drunk when we invented this, okay?

£19.99

Solar-Powered Torch for Night Use

Harnesses the power of the sun AT NIGHT. Don't think about it too hard.

£34.99

Analogue Smartwatch

All the confusion, none of the features.

£149.99

Portable Plug Socket

Take your electricity anywhere! Terms and physics apply.

£24.99

Infinite Pocket Jeans

WARNING: Items placed in pockets may end up in pocket dimension. Recovery not guaranteed.

£89.99

Permanently Paired Socks

Quantum-entangled at the atomic level. If you lose one, the other one KNOWS.

£12.99

Dry Umbrella Protector

Protects your umbrella from rain. Because apparently umbrellas are too good to get wet now.

£24.99

Reversible Inside-Out Jacket

It's always inside-out. Also always outside-in. Topology is crying.

£129.99

One-Size-Fits-None T-Shirt

Guaranteed to fit absolutely nobody. 100% success rate.

£19.99

Invisible Sunglasses

You can't see them. Neither can UV rays. Neither can you.

£69.99

Non-Slip Banana Skin Shoes

Finally, footwear that makes sense of nothing.

£79.99

Hot Ice Maker

Makes ice. Hot ice. Don't think about it.

£199.99

Dark Light Bulbs (4-pack)

60W of pure darkness per bulb.

£16.99

Fireproof Matches (100-pack)

They're matches that won't light. We invented expensive sticks.