Perpetual Bread

We made a mistake. A beautiful, terrible mistake. This bread never goes stale. It never moulds. It never stops being bread. It's bread forever. FOREVER. We thought we were solving the problem of food waste. Instead, we created bread that defies entropy itself. This loaf was baked in 2019. It's still fresh. It will always be fresh. We've tried everything to make it stop being bread. Fire? Still bread. Water? Wet bread, but still bread. Time? Time gave up. The bread regenerates. If you cut a slice, the slice grows back. If you eat it, it reappears in your stomach. We're not sure how. We're not sure why. We just know it's bread. Always bread. Forever bread. WARNING: Do not attempt to make toast. The toast will also be perpetual. You'll have toast forever. We have a warehouse full of perpetual toast. Send help.